I don’t think men truly appreciate how much time and effort goes into making us look like the gorgeous, feminine creatures that they fell in love with. Little does he know that our “natural” look requires makeup primer, tinted moisturizer, concealer, mascara, blush and gloss. Six products to make us look like we have no products on. Totally makes sense, right?

But there are definitely some not-so-pretty beauty routines that we women do that should remain a secret. Here are 5 beauty routines that are guaranteed to zap the spark out any romantic feelings:

1. Upper lip hair removal- whether you use wax or a depilatory, your man would rather not know that you can grow a ‘stache.
2. Face hair removal- sideburns and stray chin hairs. ‘Nuff said.
3. Curlers- ever see what an old school wet set looks like? Head full of curlers and the futuristic looking contraption you sit under is even less pretty. Beam me up Scotty.
4. Face masks- these things can be down right frightful. Don’t believe me? Put on Boscia’s Luminizing Black Mask and say hi to any male within your reach and watch the reaction.
5. Shower cap- I own the sassiest of shower caps—from leopard to pink and bedazzled. Doesn’t matter. Every time my husband sees me in it he smirks and says “I can’t even look at you”.

So moral of the story, if possible save those beauty rituals for your maintenance days when you have the house to yourself. Or you can do what I did and wait until you walk down the aisle and show him what he really married